Let's narrow down to my ex-home flat but broaden it even to the present time.
Whenever I pass by No. 3 Belfran Road,
I still look up.
Every single time.
I don't even know what is the good of doing it anyway.
Because turning up one's head to the 10th floor is actually quite a pain.
At some point I even started showing it the my loved ones.
I wonder if this gives them pain.
Again, I don't know what's the good of this either.
Perhaps to show my loyalty to the old days.
Perhaps to show my loyalty to past memories.
Perhaps to show my loyalty to him--
That I am capable of long-lasting, unchanging love.
I will hold his hand,
Make him stand across it,
Make him look up using his neck ,
Make him ask questions about my childhood,
Make him imagine what's beyond the balcony.
All these end up serve to prove my loyalty to him.
I use my one and only past to prove that he is my one and only lover.
A shameless girl will never grow sick of manipulating her own past.
Maybe one day,
All the lovers will see what her old flat has seen.
A girl leaving her home behind for a big house in Vancouver.
Then comes back and sobs for it every time she passes by under.
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