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    5 weeks ago

3.10.2005

當男孩說話時

董伯伯是個可憐的大男孩
當他大耳垂垂的嚷著離開
一眾同學都不討論project了
一起圍在LDP common room看有線的直播

好刺激呀~
男同學好像我的爸爸
原來男人對政治的態度都是相似的
鬧鬧鬧 批批批

這也會是個好回憶
像我在屋企的日子

那我和你的回憶呢? 要拉到你那兒了
因為這幾天根本你就沒有離開我的腦袋兒
You want me to talk about you?

The invisible guy for 8 years, at least.
The weight of your words
I felt like an ignorant woman in our arguement that day
I've lost confidence to debate rationally with any guys
(Really, it's like I'm so afraid of starting any 2-sided discussion)
I started to wonder, Is this a gender difference thing, or just you and me?
You and me growing into 'you' and 'me'

I can give you anything, if you choose to name it
(Seriously....because I still trust you will choose the best for me)
Then I realize I can't even give you the most basic understanding
This becomes nothing but a contradiction
So I just kept on avoiding because I don't want anything to go worse
And you just kept on reminding me I'm acting like an ignorant woman

I started to review, and because you are one that I have known for that long 8 years
In my life, is there any boy that I can really communicate with?
Seems like I can only discuss things smoothly with girls
I start to feel like an ignorant person that can never get into serious stuff....
The worse thing is I have been constantly feeling like that for the past few days
(Sorry for making Mr. HMG the victim that day, I could not even handle your phone call..)
Gee, what am I discovering...

Then I couldn't stop supposing...
All of you....love me, just because I am kind.
For the rest...thank you for bearing with my ignorance.


或許...我真的想得太多了
又或許我真是不能承受別人對我的不認同

我所要求得到認同的程度
我這要求..是何等病態
而當我越來越自我中心時
這個發現就更顯悲慘

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